Sometimes
I have problems getting comfortable while sleeping:
Eventually,
the position I get most comfortable in is extremely awkward, and it often leads
to my limbs falling asleep. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
Why?
Because
my sleeping limbs end up somewhere on my body, and because they’re asleep, I wake
up to a strange hand on other parts of my body, and that is fucking horrifying.
HORRIFYING.
I’ve come
up with the perfect solution to this issue. Detachable limbs! Yes, yes, I know
what everyone is thinking. Limbs technically ARE detachable. People get them
detached all the time. The point is, in my perfect world, these limbs would be
able to be re-attachable at will:
See?
Totally works. And there’s a bonus feature. If you have your limbs detached
while sleeping and a serial killer happens to mosey on in:
BAM. YOU’RE WELCOME, WORLD.
Science
should get on this ASAP.
Patent
pending, patent pending, patent pending
