Hey

I envy the way you all wake up. Your alarm:

See? 7:30… a NORMAL time to get up. Even considered sleeping in for most. Even the nice heart stopping “beep beep beep” is amazing.

How do I wake up? How do I wake up pretty much EVERY FUCKING DAY? Well let me tell you.

It all starts with Gir. My beautiful cat.

 He starts early, very softly meowing at the door. But the tone he does it in is kind of like a gentle “hey… hey… hey…” This is usually 40 minutes before I have to get up. It’s easy to tune out.

Then soon after, Lu joins in.

Everything he says sounds like a question. So I get the chorus of “Hey.. hey? Hey… hey? Hey… hey?”.

This is slightly less easy to ignore, but I can usually fall right back to sleep. And then…

HE comes in. Monkey. The devil of all cats. He throws himself against the door, slamming his shoulder into it, dragging his paws down it screaming “HEY! HEY!!!!! GET OUT OF BED, BITCH AND FEED ME! HEY! HEY!”

This cannot be tuned out. It cannot be tuned out at all. The slamming against the door, the screaming meow, all of it.  Finally, I drag my ass out of bed, open the door and:

Nothing. All cats are gone. If I go back to bed, it starts up again…

Why don’t I just let them sleep with me? Well, the thing about this is the door is in the way. Which is easier throughout the night. Usually they leave me alone til about 6:45am. I made the mistake one night of letting them in and about an hour later:

“PFFT!” I said to myself, I can just pull the blanket over my head. Smugly I do so.

About five minutes after that, there was a strange rustling at the foot of the bed…

Followed by:

Yeah. Damn you all and your alarm clock. I will TRADE you.