**this is the letter you receive if you look after my cats**
(most recently received by my landlord)
***********************************
When you come in, please call the cats.
Monkey and Gir probably won’t come, but if you open a can of food, both should
come running!!! Please check that all 4 are there, walking normally, not acting
like they’re in pain, etc (primarily Monkey and Gir… Lu will most likely be on
the island meowing at you and Tia will be on the floor near the front door).
WET
FOOD:
The cans of food are on the counter by the
stove, with the spoon to serve it with, and the 2 food dishes with 4 sections
total to separate it in:
They get a can each day divided between the
4. I’m not giving them treats if I’m not there because I think the treats make
one of them throw up and I’m not sure which one it is (I’m betting Tia…) so
they get wet food instead.
WARNING: Wet food makes their poop smell TERRIBLE
right after they go, so avoid the spare room where the litter boxes will be,
unless kitties aren’t coming out!!!
The food dishes need to be put around the
corner of each other, otherwise Monkey will sit over one, and then eat from the
other and not let the other cats eat anything, cuz he’s an asshole. If he
doesn’t come eat food, something may be wrong with him… Or you brought children
in the house and he’s hiding (please view how to find missing cats at the
bottom of this letter)
DRY
FOOD:
They need to have their dry food bowls
filled too. The dry food is by the door, in the white Tupperware container
(with a blue scoop in it).
Their dry food is around the counter. It
must be filled at all times. If there’s any chance Monkey may see the bottom of
the black food dish, he will start freaking out and screaming and acting like
he’s dying of starvation. It sounds humourous, but he will wait until you’re
sleeping to do this, and scream louder than he sings, non stop, until the food
dish is filled. DON’T LET THIS HAPPPPPEN:
He will then promptly start barfing
everywhere because he over ate, while glaring at you because you did this to
him.
So please fill the dishes and the black one
should overflow onto the ground:
I know, you’re reading this and thinking
“God, that Monkey *IS* an asshole!” I know… I know… but he’s so cute and I love
him so I deal with it….
WATER
DISHES:
They have 2, because Gir likes #2 and the
rest like #1. They are located beside the dry food, and then right in the
doorway of the spare room… Tia likes to carry her dry food to the water dish
and drop it in, so I need to change the water daily or it gets gross. Please
note that occasionally you’ll find weevils in #1… it’s ok. They won’t kill you
and are probably already dead.
HOW
TO FIND MISSING CATS:
MONKEY
He’s in 1 of 2 places most likely, if he’s
not laying on the floor in front of the stove.
1) On top of the chair in the spare room
2) On the seat of the chair in the spare room
GIR
Gir is usually 1 of 2 spots if he’s not on
the island with Lu… He will either be on the kitty tower in the corner of the
spare room (see? He’s there right now):
Or on top of the wooden cupboard by the
door to the spare room (usually he’s only here if Monkey is being a bully
douche canoe).
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I appreciate you looking
after my monsters.
