Monday, 19 September 2011

Karin Logic on: Sleeping

I often get asked how I sleep. This is a long answer that usually ends in a battle of logic that alas, anyone not Karin will lose.

Starting with… I sleep fully clothed. That’s right, top and bottom, and on most evenings, socks. This can be explained very easily. Sleeping partially or completely unclothed equals:


And NOT the fun kind. This results in showing up at work naked, taking a public bus naked, pretty much any kind of naked that results in super awkward termination of job/social status. Because of this, I go to sleep fully prepared for any event my messed up subconscious may come up with!

You’d think I’d be prepared for bed at this point, but no, I’m really not. I have another mandatory accessory. THE EYE MASK! I require an eye mask to sleep because I’ve found that it’s hard to sleep with any light and I sleep with a light on. At this point, the battle of logic comes in.

Everyone else’s logic: Why the hell do I sleep with a light on if I can’t sleep with any light on??? If I turn the light off, I don’t need an eye mask and can sleep face obstruction free.

My logic: The answer is completely obvious! The things in the dark will get me if the lights are out. Am I too old to be afraid of the dark? Probably! But does that stop me? Hell no. Let me explain through a picture.

It’s true. I do believe that the dark demon monsters travel and stand in V formation. Like Canadian geese, but more fangy.

**Please note: To save myself from writing dark demon monsters over and over, I will be referring to them as DDM from now on**

So the light is left on! You see, the DDM can’t get you when there’s light. It makes them sad.

See? Complete sense. Light goes on, eye mask goes on, DDM go sad, Karin lives to see another day! Regardless of what you can come up with to turn the light out, the fear of the DDM will win out… UNLESS:

The only time I can sleep in complete darkness is when someone else is there. There is a completely logical reason for that. The DDM will go for the other person first, so while they’re eating them I can run off to well lit safety.

What, you can’t see my drawings? Well that’s because the lights are off in it, duh. So although this scenario does have 100% success of me surviving, this is only the case if there is another victim in the dark. If I’m alone in the dark with the DDM, those would be my legs they’re chomping, and I need those legs for things like walking and grocery shopping and driving. I also need them for running off when the DDM have other victims. I will shove my friends down when running from Rottweilers, and also to leave them in my dust when the DDM are there. Can your logic beat that? I think not.

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