I know I
haven’t written a lot lately. I’ve been busy. I know, it’s fucking amazing and
all that that I have things better to do than sit on my computer and write
blogs for your amusement! One of the things that has started to fill my time is
exercising by running at the track.
You’d
think a track would be completely boring as shit, running around the same circle
and the same scene over and over and over again. You’re probably right, in MOST
cases. But not this one, ohhhh no. There are so many various characters at the
track and that keeps it entertaining. Let me introduce:
GOLDFISH
LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me
start at the beginning. So there was this kid’s track and field summer camp for
the last 2 weeks, kiddles ranging from 7-12 yrs old (approximately). They were
there every day I was, doing their track and fieldy things with coaches that
yelled at them in random broken European English. After day #2 of seeing them,
I saw this strange lady at the track as well, following the kids around, about
10-20 metres behind them at all times.
Sure, she
could be just going the same directions they’re going, the weird fucked up part
was that she would get a little closer every now and then and take this baggie
out of her pocket and shake it at them.
I had to
get in for a closer inspection.
After
getting close enough to smell her uterus clock running out of time, I realized
the baggie was full of goldfish. Not goldfish you win as a pity prize from a
fucked up looking carnie, the goldfish that come from the Pepperidge Farm.
Those
flavour blasted snacks that smile back.
This
weird-ass lady was waggling a baggie full of crackers
at children, like you
would to a puppy to try and get it to come to you. At first I thought that one
of the offspring might have been hers, but after this exercise repeated itself
every day for 4 days and NO children took the bait, and the lady left the track
each time with no toddler in tow. Yes, she was indeed one of
those fucked up people your parents warned you about when you were a kid.
She tried
this for 2 weeks, with no success. Then she was gone for a bit and a new summer
camp with new children showed up at the track. I guess she got the scent of
fresh meat in the wind because today she was back, with a BIGGER bag of
goldfish.
This
woman is quite possibly more disturbing in her efforts to get a kid than I am,
and that’s saying a lot.
