Why I’m Awkward

For those that know me, I am slightly awkward. I mean, I say the wrong thing sometimes, and I’m super awkward in some situations. Ok. Most situations. I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I come by it honestly.

 

That’s right. I inherited it.

Take this shining example of a memory from my youth.

When I was 17, I was coming home with my one of my best friends and my boyfriend, and it was like… 11:30pm. That’s 23:30 for you military folk.

  

We arrived at my house and we were coming in through the front door. For those of you (which is most of you) that aren’t familiar with the house I grew up in, the front door was DIRECTLY in line with the kitchen, and in full view of the fridge:

So we wander in and…

What could cause all our faces to do this simultaneously? This:

Yeah. My 100% butt naked father, standing in front of the fridge. Unfortunately the fridge doors opened the opposite way, so everyone saw EVERYTHING. Once he was made aware of the full frontal of all of us (I am fairly confident this will be etched into my memory forever and ever), he tried to remedy the situation:

And then one final cryptic warning:

I slept at my friend’s house that night. 

After you and two of the "most important" people in your life (at the time) go through that, nothing is off limits. You're already scarred for life. And I believe in group suffering, so I will take you all down with me.