THE BUTTONS

Recently my friend Jaime(NOT AIMEE) decided she wanted to learn to crochet. As I am a firm believer in group suffering, I agreed to learn with her. It took many (MANY) failed attempts, but we finally figured it out. Jaime promptly started making the cutest hats ever for her new son.

**please note a hobby like this will almost definitely make your child hate you in the future**

Her most recent achievement was a snowman hat:

(I edited out the world’s cutest baby as I don’t want random strangers seeing him. If he’s to be stolen, it will be by ME… this is NOT AIMEE’S baby)

After congratulating her for such an awesome hat, Jaime (NOT AIMEE) looks at me and goes:

Jaime: Want to know where I got the buttons?

Me: Uh…

Please note at this point I completely thought that she’d done something like ninja her way into a neighbour’s house to steal their clothes and rip the buttons off.

Surprisingly I was not far off…

Jaime leaves the room a moment and comes back with:

At first glance I was like “oh, a random blazer”, but no. NO. This was a dress jacket. You know, one of those fancy coats men wear when they have to look all nice and sophisticated. And on closer inspection:

Yeah. That’s right. It’s missing its buttons. ALL its buttons.

Me: So… yeah… that’s a jacket

Jaime: It sure is!

Me: Where did you get such a previously fine jacket?

Jaime: My husband’s closet

Me: …

Me: …

Me: …

Me: Ok. Why did you take the buttons of his coat rather than going to the store and buying said buttons?

Jaime: I didn’t feel like going out.

Me: Oh.

Surprisingly THAT seems logical to me!

Jaime: So… could you bring this to your work and get rid of it?

Me: Why?

Jaime: A missing coat is easier to explain than a coat that’s missing parts of it

This too seemed logical.

Me: Ok, I’ll drop it off at a donation bank or give it to a hobo

Jaime: Why would a hobo want a jacket with no buttons?

Me: What’s warmer??? A coat without buttons or NO coat?

Jaime: But it has no buttons.

Obviously our logic only follows the same line of reasoning on very limited things. 


On a completely unrelated note, my fortune cookie told me to “Learn Chinese, Beansprout”.

What the fuck does that even mean?????????

P.S. Anyone want a jacket?

P.P.S. I too learned to crochet, not as awesome as Jaime though… but look! I’m a kitty!

P.P.P.S. you can totally see my perfect eyebrows





****UPDATE**** IM conversation with Aimee (yeah it's totally Aimee...) earlier today:

Aimee: Jay read the eyebrow blog

Karin: hahahahaha

Aimee: He laughed so hard he had tears rolling down his face

Karin: did you hide the buttons from him

Aimee: I'm like ok yeah you think that's funny read the button one

Aimee: FYI I'm the only one laughing with tears rolling down my face lmfao

Karin: hahaha I'm laughing now.... did he read the buttons one

Aimiee: Yes he did 

Karin: and

Aimee: I told him one day he will find it just as funny

Karin: was he pissed

Aimee: Who cares nolans hat needed buttons lol