The Seven Minute Rule

My boss confuses the fuck out of me. People think that *I* am random. They need to meet him. For the sake of this blog, we’ll call him Al from here on out. And the company I work for is Team O. 


One of my many confusing conversations with Al happened not too long ago, and resulted in the installation of the “seven minute” rule at work. What is the seven minute rule? Well, let me tell you how it all began …

One of my friends was looking for a job and we happened to be hiring. I asked him to send me his resume and I’d recommend him to my boss. Easy, right? Yeah… That’s what I thought. We both fail.

So I mosey down the hallway to Al’s office and ask if I can give him a resume. And the conversation went like this:

Karin: Hey Al, I have my friend’s resume. I think he’d be an awesome addition to the team!

Al: come in please, and sit down.

**ominous feeling**

Karin: uh… ok?

**Karin sits**

Al: You know, Team O pays you every second Friday.

Karin: Right…. Bi weekly payments and such…

Al: The money is given to you every second Friday.

Karin: Ok.

Al: You always know when the money is coming in.

Karin: Right.

Al: If you start your own company, you never know when the money is coming in

Karin: …

Al: The grass is always greener you know. There 

are lumps and bumps in life but Team O helps you with those by paying you every second Friday.

Karin: …

**At this point I was listening down the hallway, hoping to hear someone coming down looking for me so I can leave**

Al: You always know when money is coming in, because it’s the same time every time. Every second Friday.

Karin: uh…

Al: Starting your own business is a bad idea. You know why?

Karin: I get paid every second Friday?

**Still watching the door, praying for someone to save me**

Al: RIGHT!

Karin: So…

Al: YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHEN YOUR MONEY IS COMING IN

Karin: uh… About that resume?

Al: Have your friend call me.

**awkward silence**

Karin: Can I go now?

Al: Yes.

Please Note: This conversation actually went on like this for about 10-15 minutes.

I get up, walk as quickly as I can OUT of his office (so he can’t call me back in) and run back to my desk. I then have everyone in the room staring at me, and they go “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!” since I was gone for so long.

 I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, PEOPLE! I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED! BUT NO ONE FUCKING SAVED ME!

I had to explain the situation, which had the end result of:

To ensure this does not happen in the future, if anyone leaves their desk and is gone for more than 7 minutes, the search party will be sent. So far we have not had to enforce this rule, but you never know.