I Am The Person Your Parents Warned You About ...

THE PERFECT BABY-STEALING PLAN

This is the perfect plan… the perfect BABY STEALING plan. All plans must include stick figures and pie charts otherwise success is not guaranteed…

Step One:

Show up at Aimee’s

(yes, I shall appear slightly retarded throughout this)

 Step Two:

Consume “sex in a pan”

Step Three:

Distract Aimee

Step Four:

 While Dee distracts Aimee with a highly thought-out diversion tactic, I shall collect the essentials for the baby (a “starter package", if you will”):

Step Five:

 Once Aimee is successfully distracted and the baby package is ready, we will make our great escape

(this is us skipping off into the sunset)

After review of the plan, there is a 97% chance of success. I like those odds! Now, to bring it to 100% ...